So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
