Michael Bay diarrhea
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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