just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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