Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
