I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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