Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize