you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Shame - the story of my life.
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