You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
