I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
