new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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