More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
