I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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