If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
