OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
