Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
