ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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