at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
