please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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