I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
