What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
