Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
