I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
