No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
