Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize