Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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