Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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