Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
