Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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