So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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