You really coming over, don't trick.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I could fuck to npr.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
