Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
