If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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