i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
