3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
