I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i now understand why vodka
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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