First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
please come you make the beer taste better
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
