Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
