So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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