it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
