I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
