you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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