we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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