I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
