You're so nebulous sometimes
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize