Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
