So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
