No, you can still breathe under the balls.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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