I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
