Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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