Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
