Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
