im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
