More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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