Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
