Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize