The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
