My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
