you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't turn off my feet"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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