bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
