I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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