i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
