eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
